Conspiracy?

We hear all these stories about tsunamis, hurricanes, nor’easters and the like. We hear how they have destroyed homes, ruined lives, and sent millions of dollars to aid them, adding to that quasar of creditor impotency we call debt. But perhaps we learned our lesson when we faced the October wildfires here in Southern California when it came to preparing for it.

There are reports that it wasn’t as bad as one thought when it came to finding aid, and so on. People were evacuated, though a few stubborn fools dared defend their homes against the inevitable. Naturally, these fires are supposed to be a good thing, because they destroy vegetation that is old and dying, it aerates the soil, and allows for fresh vegetation to grow out of the ashes. Our interference with the process culminated in your stories of people’s homes being burned into cinders, families who have lost everything, all this despair and what have you.

When I was at the soccer game between UC Riverside and Long Beach State, I felt some really strong winds. Then it hit me: those Santa Ana bad boys were doing their thing. Uh oh. The next morning, I saw a thing, red, orange haze stain my house, and it was unusually warm. Double uh oh. The wildfires, which started on a day where the Los Angeles Galaxy were eliminated by the Chicago Fire (more fuel for the conspiracy theorists out there, wink wink), were going on, and only a rainstorm could help the futile, vain, hopeless [sic] efforts of people who try to stop the fire but cannot, even when fueled by energy drinks of every color, shape and size.

I can’t wait for basketball season to begin. By the time Dan Monson begins his coaching stint at the Beach, the air quality should be back to normal again.

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