The Miami Dolphins undefeated streak extends to 36 years!

The Miami Dolphins undefeated streak extends to 36 years!

By Jo-Ryan Salazar
Bedlam on Baltic Avenue
February 4, 2008

Move aside, De La Salle Spartans, and make way for a real undefeated streak.

Patience pays off. That’s an old maxim quoted by an anonymous sage. For the 1972 Miami Dolphins, their patience could have paid off any better. Led by Mercury Morris, Garo Yepremian, Larry Little and Jim Kiick, the Dolphins used a balance of watching and waiting to defeat the 2007 New England Patriots, 17-14, before a crowd of senior citizens with walkers at their house in Miami.

Their unbeaten streak lasting for 36 commercial-infested seasons and counting, the Dolphins, in spite of being physically unable to play American football the way it is played in the NFL today, continue to defy conventional wisdom by throwing two crucial passes to David Tyree and Plaxico Burress, who are capable of playing football at this level.

“”Obviously, we’re proud to still have to longest undefeated streak in the League, more than those scumbags from New England,” Kiick said. “Is New England even a city? There isn’t any place in the map called New England. The way they played, Matsushita Denko Impulse would have ran them out of town.”

The remark was met with a loud roar from the old farts, as well as some octogenarians with Alzheimer’s who scratched their heads in confusion as to what a “…Matsushahahwahsawasha Dengo Impulse ish,” one said. “Well, I knows what’s deh Impulse part is, but I don’t know hossfeathers about the other stuff the chap was saying. Actually…I want to ask you a question, young man…what’s an Impulse?”

“They rplayed a fabulous game and I really thought they deserved to win,” tight end Jim Mandich said. “I really feel the better team won…As for the 1972 Miami Dolphins, I don’t take joy in the fact that the Patriots lost…wait a minute, I do! Ha Ha Ha, Tom Brady got screwed by Tyree~~~~~! Ahahahahahah! <3>

Brady, QB for the Patriots, was seen heading on the team bus with a noose and a wakazashi (hara-kiri blade) in his left hand, and a death poem in unrecognizable weeaboo kanji in the other.

“Thanks for supporting us,” New York Giants guard Chris Snee said. “You are our masters, and we must fulfill our duty to our masters, because had Tyree dropped that pass from Eli [Manning, Archie’s bastard child], all of us would have hung ourselves.”

The Flying Elvis was unable to comment.