A fatwa...

Praise be to the Sheik of America, President Barack Hussein Obama II of the United States of America. Most Gracious, Most Merciful, Most...Cool.

TO ALL THOSE WHO CUT GAS PIPES, THROW BRICKS AT GLASS HOUSES AND HURL RACIAL EPITHETS,

TO ALL THOSE WHO ARE POLITICAL SORE LOSERS IN MIND, BODY, AND SOUL,

TO ALL THOSE WHO SUPPORT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY OF AMERICA AND HAVE DECIDED TO RESORT TO ACTS OF VIOLENCE IN THE STYLE OF AL-QAEDA AND OF THE TALIBAN,

I ISSUE THIS EDICT:

I encourage you to keep them coming. Keep them going. For we will use your sore-losing acts and childish behavior against you in the upcoming elections.

Why desist your violent behavior? After all, destiny has assigned you to the wrong party. Therefore, keep the hate mail and death threats going. Pay the price for everything that will go against you come this November.

-Sheik Bongaboi
The Bedlam on Baltic Avenue

No comments: