Saturday, November 16, 2013

Gimme All Your Lovin'!

Gimme All Your Lovin'!
Madoka Kaname edges Ruri Gokou to advance to 2ch AST semis

By Jo-Ryan Salazar
November 16, 2013

There were scenes of jubilation and relief at Mitakihara Middle School this evening. The strains of ZZ Top's "Gimme All Your Lovin'" were blared out by a staff member and a mob of local residents, students and Madoka Magica fans were elated by the news that Ruri Gokou had cheated to try to pull off an upset over Madoka Kaname but failed. The end result: a 272-250 nailbiter that got really good in the last two hours.

"She is not gonna be denied!" roared a Kaname supporter who chose to remain anonymous. "My goddess will not be denied the glory! This victory is hers and Kyouko Sakura is going to go down like a dog!"

"Well, I knew Madoka was going to be all right, but just like with my fight against her two years ago, she laid everything on the line," Sakura said, eating another hamburger with all the fixings. "I'm going to try to make it a race against Madoka but I know that after a match like this, I will be lucky to be within 50 votes of her. This is going to be an impossible mission."

"This could be smooth sailing for me after this but I'm not going to sell Kyouko-chan short," Madoka said. "She is a brilliant, capable fighter fueled by faith and strong beliefs so it will be an honor to face her for the right to be in the Grand Final. I am ready to do my best."

"That was a close call; I thought Gokou-san was going to eliminate my wife and foil my plan," Homura Akemi said via phone interview. "The one thing about Madoka is that she fights a fair race and she doesn't cheat to get the results she wants. I tip my hat of to Kuroneko, because she is someone that earned my respect two years ago and earns my respect this year."

The victory by Kaname raises doubts as to whether or not Mami Tomoe is ready to win a rare second Saimoe Prime Minister term.

"At this point, I'm not going to pay attention to Kaname-san's campaign or any others except myself, and for me, this is just playing for fun," Tomoe said. "But I'm going to take Miki-san seriously and give her a test on Monday to see if she has what it takes to leave an impression on me."

"I'm pissed off at Ruri, personally, because I was hoping she was going to make the road a bit easier for me," said the other Kyouko, Kyouko Toshinou. "She should have played fair against Madoka and she did not. I'm going to focus on Watashi tomorrow, but now my hopes to shock the nation have crumbled faster than blue cheese.

"Damn it! Damn it all to hell! Get lost, Ruri, you traitor! I never liked your ass to begin with, so get lost already!"

Watashi, meanwhile, had mixed feelings about the result.

"This contest was in decline ever since the Puella Magi Party dominated this thing," Watashi said as a gang of fairies snacked on a basket of cookies after another day at the Office for Lack of Personal Safety. "But I'm still in it, and I look to build on some quiet confidence. Don't sleep on me; otherwise I have to wake you up."

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