Saturday, November 23, 2013

A rebuttal to an anonymous critic on

So this jerk named RogueReviewer came over and wrote this on my reviews page for my most recent Madoka one-shot. I deleted it, but here it is for archives.
Oh boy! The first Akuma Homura x Madoka smut on this site!
...And it's utterly terrible!
Wow, this was bad. The only thing that was passable was the grammar. Everything was off. The characterisation? Everyone was OOC. The conversations were wooden and almost like it was just one person talking to themself. All the smattered, weeaboo Japanese made me cringe. "Mou..."? Just make them say "Jeez..." or something! It's not hard!
It's like you didn't understand Rebellion at all. Oh, suddenly, Madoka has her powers back and Homura's okay with that and they're getting along and banging? I was excited for this sort of smut because of the emotional development a writer could explore. There was nothing here. It was a thinly-veiled excuse to get them back in bed and write boring smut. And then you have them use their powers for dumb, implausible, selfish reasons. Why the hell would they expose themselves as the Goddesses of the world? Seems counter-productive to me. And Madoka's altruism wouldn't let her do that. 
You also took all the drama out of Saimoe. "Oh hey, Madoka wins!" What, no mention of Homura's early dive? Madoka's revenge against Ayase once she got out of the loser's tournament? How strong the showing of Madoka Magica girls were? The fact that Sayaka, unpopular Sayaka, beat previous winner Mami? No mention of the only non-meguca to get to the semi-finals, the Main Character of Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita? This story actually had some potential, and it was wasted on ruining the story of Rebellion and sending the other characters to a concert for no real reason.
I've read some of your other stories and while they're a little better, they all suffer from the same problems. There's one problem in particular... you insert all these references only you care about and don't mesh with the story. When Kyouko, Sayaka, Mami, and Nagisa delve into which teams they like? That made no sense. It was as if you were saying "Oh, here's some facts I know."
For God's sake STOP PUTTING LYRICS IN YOUR STORIES. They're padding, and technically it's not allowed. Nobody reads the lyrics and nobody cares about your favourite bands and singers. It makes your fic look bigger than it is and it's cheating.
This fic is a messy, boring, OOC clusterfuck. You're writing down things that you like without concern for making it coherent and in-character. Madoka Magica is a very character-based story. This was a series of confusing events with the Madoka Magica characters idly shoved in.

Let's start from the beginning. First off, welcome to the world of JR Salazar's fics, where the author has his own style of writing this and has no intentions of changing the formula unless you pay him thousands of dollars. Now I hate the term weeaboo because calling someone a weeaboo makes you one as well. That's called guilt by association and is lame. Second, I believe you don't have to know something to write about thing. I work as a sports journalist for the FanSided Network, and I try to know what I know. You see this with all of the sportswriters out there: they know little about what they write to begin with but still churn it out anyway because they need reads and clicks and page impressions. Homura and Madoka are my yuri pair. If you don't like the way these two love other, too bad. It was the main attraction in Ding Dong and the selling point, so this is more of the same.
This Saimoe wasn't about the other characters. This was about Madoka. The other characters really didn't matter. If Watashi made the final, she would be there. If Mami made the final, she would be there. If any of the other clowns on the other side of the bracket made it, they'd be mentioned. Ruri only got a passing mention because of ISML. None of the other Top 16 characters except for Sayaka and Kyouko Sakura needed to be mentioned in this fic because it's not about them. This is about Madoka. 
Okay, you read some of my other fanfiction, good for you. Well, there are some missing parts that would have been explored if they were mentioned in canon. So I have to add them because they are not mentioned in canon and I do add them because it adds depth. To me, Madoka Magica's character descriptions were incomplete and some other info was missing. So I add them. Well Madoka Magica is fictional anyway, so you whining about references I care about is irrelevant and laughable.
If this was an issue regarding lyrics, my account on would have been shut down months ago. No action has been done, no action will be done. I have updates to Gunners High and Poke-ON! forthcoming in December and there will be lyrics. As long as my account is active, I have the final word, regardless of your complaints, because these are my fics, after all. Nobody reads and nobody cares? You just did by reviewing my fic here! What bloody hypocrisy!
Again, this is how I do my work. If it's solid, fine. If it's messy, boring, OOC clusterfucks as you say, par for the course. What I'm telling you is that I am not going to change the way I write my work here. Furthermore, I did hint to another review that this could be a satire of what happened in Rebellion. Well, I've changed my mind. It is a satire and a protest to Homura's actions in Rebellion. So I'm making her make it up to Madoka so that she is able to settle things. Of course, this is all going to go south if we have a second season, but for the time being, this is what it is.
You know what is a real mess? This year's Saimoe. With the administrators clamping down on fake votes, all the steam, all the energy from this year's edition of the tournament went out and what was left was an unprofessional clusterfuck that is even worse than what you argue on my fic, which I actually made the effort to assemble. My fics are not going to be completely canon. Walk-ON! and the two sequels weren't canon. Ding Dong wasn't canon. Roadshow was an original story and Poke-ON! is an alternate universe crossover. Are those clusterfucks too? If that's the case, every fic is, but you clowns still read them and write them. They will exist, whether you like it or not. Just like this year's 2013 Anime Saimoe Tournament, which has been decried by many as a clusterfuck in an of itself.
One more thing: ante up and post your reviews with a registered account on Since this was anonymous, and I can't reply to it, I have to remove it while laughing out loud. Well, I am still laughing out loud, because if I hit you hard with this fic, Rebellion fanboy, I've done my job. Cheers!

2channel Anime Saimoe 2013: Hope Springs Eternal!

2channel Anime Saimoe 2013: Hope Springs Eternal!
Madoka Kaname defeats Sayaka Miki to win Saimoe Prime Minister's Office

By Jo-Ryan Salazar
November 23, 2013

Bells were ringing and fireworks lit up the skies of Tokyo and Mitakihara Town as Madoka Kaname defeated Sayaka Miki 277-191 to win the Saimoe Prime Minister's Office for the 2014 session. Kaname will be sworn in on New Year's Eve at the end of the year.

"She did it! She did it!" exclaimed an anonymous supporter, crying tears of joy. "I can die happy now! I regret nothing! My goddess now rules this country! I have nothing to fear!"

"This an exciting day for Mitakihara Town," said another Kaname supporter, wiping away tears. "We will never forget this day, for as long as we live. Mitakihara salutes our Goddess of Hope!"

"It was an expected result," said Mami Tomoe via phone. Tomoe had won the office two years ago and finished sixth in the race overall this year. "I think Miki-san is content that she finished runner-up to a deserving winner. I am confident Kaname-san can lead this country forward. We are proud of her."

"I think Madoka will do an amazing job leading Japan forward next year and she plans to collaborate with Tokyo 2020 on their initiatives to make the Olympics successful," Miki said via phone interview. "I'm happy with this result. Even though I finished runner-up, I believed that Madoka deserved to win."

Kaname and her wife, Homura Akemi, were unavailable for comment because they were flying back to Mitakihara to relax and rest, presumably at Akemi's residence. Akemi will assume the Saimoe Deputy Prime Minister position next year.

"You knew that Madoka was going to win it, no doubt," Kyouko Sakura said via videoconference from the bus returning to Mitakihara. "Everyone knew it was going to happen. It just needed that final push and it would be over like that. So we have someone with a big, pure heart and good, brave intentions leading the way and the one that controls everything is her right-hand woman. This country's in good hands."

"I think Madoka-san is going to do a great job because she's a nice person and brings a smile to my face," Nagisa Momoe said. "I can't dislike her. I like what she stands for and her message. I want Madoka-san to do her best. We're with you all the way, Madame Prime Minister Madoka-san!"

"This country's going to be in excellent hands because she shares the same beliefs I stand for as the leader of my country," said President of the United States Barack Obama. "Her platform is on hope and progress and she is an inspiration to the people she is with. I think she will do a wonderful job standing tall with the people of Japan."

"We are happy for Kaname-san because her message resonated with the people," said Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe. "I look forward to working with her to make this country successful next year. No one represents the true essence of Japanese popular culture like Kaname-san. I hope she does her best."

"I called for it before the polls opened," Toki Onjouji, the outgoing Saimoe Prime Minister, said via phone interview. "It would be a slow start, and the race would be close, but near the end, the match would be decided, and the neutral voters will have pushed Madoka over the top. I congratulate Madoka and I think she will make Japan proud."

"Me and Ayase were the two candidates that tested Madoka," said International Saimoe League champion Ruri Gokou, who finished fifth overall in the race in Japan. "Ayase was the only one that won, but she would receive her comeuppance. I think I really had the best chance to upset her but once I found out I lost, this race was hers to lose.

"I look forward to working with her on ways to improve the Saimoe movement in Japan and abroad."

This historic result means that four of the five members of the Puella Magi Holy Quintet have placed top two at least once, with Akemi being the lone exception. In addition, with her third-place finish and victory on Saturday night, Madoka Kaname becomes the most accomplished contestant in the history of the 2channel Anime Saimoe Tournament, which determines who wins the coveted office.

2channel Anime Saimoe 2013: Top 4

1. Madoka Kaname
2. Sayaka Miki
3. Kyouko Sakura
4. Watashi

Madoka Kaname: 12th Saimoe Prime Minister of Japan

"Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone. Tonight, in this, the 12th edition of the most storied Saimoe Prime Minister election ever contested where such contests are serious business for many people and fans, the task of keeping the moe dream alive for our country moves forward.

It moves forward because of each and every one of you. It moves forward because you believed that hope, love and justice are the deciding factors in making our nation better, and that perseverance and determination transform hope into success and achievement. From despair to ecstasy: that is the belief that while each and every one of us has their own favorite, we are a Japanese family, and we rise and fall as one nation and people, on the faith of the one person we support.

Tonight, on the 23rd day of November 2013, Heisei 25, you, the voters of 2channel, reminded us that while the road to fulfillment has been hard and our journey has been full of suffering, we have picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off and got back to fighting the good fight and finishing the race. And thus, we know deep down inside that for this great country the world calls Japan, the best is surely yet to come.

So now I want to thank every Japanese man and woman who participated in the Anime Saimoe Tournament and this general election...whether you voted for the first time or had to find a place to vote for a long time due to IP restrictions. We're working on that; bear with us. Whether you went on sites like Livedoor or 2channel, whether you were on foreign sites that covered this event or tweeted results as they came, whether you held a Madoka Kaname sign or a Sayaka Miki sign, you made your voice heard and, in the process, you made a difference so give yourselves a hand.

Minutes ago, I spoke with Sayaka-chan and I congratulated her on a well-fought, well battled race. We have fought fiercely, online and offline, but it's only because we believe in this country and you so much we would give our lives up for you. Sayaka-chan has given back to Japan through her advocacy of the Saimoe movement and the support of the anime and manga industry and her legacy is what we honor and applaud tonight. Thank you, Sayaka-chan, and best of luck in the future.

Now in the weeks ahead, I look forward to talking with Sayaka-chan on ways to improve this country and promote the importance of pop culture and the interests of youth so that we can move Japan forward. I want to thank Toki Onjouji, the outgoing Saimoe Prime Minister, who has been an ally of mine and who has been a staunch supporter of my cause. I want to thank Kyouko Sakura, who is also a strong advocate of what I do and who is a powerful, influential person fueled by faith and ideals.

Of course, Mami Tomoe is a person that I look up to, and she has also run a solid race in her own right. To my father Tomohisa, my mother Junko and my younger brother Tatsuya: tonight, your daughter and older sister will lead Japan forward next year. I am ready to do my best.

But the one person I want to really thank for being the special someone who saved me and really made me who I am: a person who loves life and cherishing true happiness is the key to my happiness, Homura Akemi. Homura-chan, you don't realize how much I love you but maybe you do. I am here to return these feeling tenfold because I am just beginning to appreciating the things you do for me. I want us to be together, to experience the future together, even though I am an angel and you are a devil. That only makes our bond stronger than steel. Let us enjoy the time we now have, with you forever at my side. But I will also say that we have class on Monday, so don't go crazy with the things you like to do for love.

Moderation and discipline are important to living a happy life and help keep selfish love balanced with selfless charity and service to others. That is another message that I brought with me on this campaign, and speaking of which...

Here's to the best campaign team and volunteers in the history of Saimoe. You're the best. You're the best ever. I've had new faces join me on this journey too, and I've had familiar faces join me once again. All of you, however, are part of my family. So no matter what you do or where you go from this point forward, you will remember this night, and the history we made together, and the life-long appreciation of a grateful goddess, now Saimoe Prime Minister Thank you for believing in me, though the dark valley and into the shining hills of Yuri Valhalla.

This victory is for you. You filled me with hope and gave me love this entire time, and I will always in debt for everything that you have done and all the hard word you put it to make this a reality. Again, this victory is for you.

It's not a secret, everyone: Saimoe campaigns can sometimes seem ridiculous, despite being serious business, and you know that there has been talk by many critics that this tournament has declined in terms of popularity and relevance and that this year has been dominated by one party, the Puella Magi party. Allow me to counter with this: if you ever get the chance to talk to people in Mitakihara, in Kasamino, in Tokyo, in Osaka, in Sapporo, in Hiroshima, in Nagoya, in Niigata, in Yokohama, in Fukuoka, in every internet cafe and school, in every shopping mall and local gathering spot for fans and're going to experience something else, something magical.

You're going to hear the determination in the voice of a Madoka Magica fan who has an extensive figurine collection, is a college student and is looking to be rich through the intervention of his favorite heroes.

You'll hear the pride in the voice of a volunteer awash in rose, pink and white who's spreading the good word about hope and love and is boosted by the news that his significant other of a few years got promoted.

You'll hear the deep patriotism and pride in the voice of a fan of one of our main contributors, Gen Urobuchi, who works at the desktops late to ensure voters have a legit code, because no one needs to be turned away from making their voice heard. No one. The patriotism and pride comes from knowing that this is Japan's tournament, Japan's time to shine, Japan's time to make itself proud of its moekkos.

And that's why we do this. That's why we're here. Deny the obvious, uphold the inane, that's how we roll. That's what Saimoe can be. That's why this tournament matters. It's not in decline, it goes on and remains part of Japan's cultural cloth. It's big and important. Saimoecracy in an island nation of 126 million can be noisy and messy and annoying and teeth-grinding and full of ragequit and shitposting. We know this. We've been there. And every one of us has our own beliefs and tastes. When we go through the tough times that we have gone through, when we make big decisions as an online community and a country, it naturally stirs passions, stirs up burning desire, controversy, chaos and madness. It can be suffering.

And that will not change after tonight, and why should it? After all, these arguments, these debates on who is best girl is a sign of us being a free country, free to voice out as who is better and who is your No. 1 and my No. 1. We must never forget that as we speak, people in other countries are risking their right to sound off on their opinions on matters involving the world and make their own choices, like you have done tonight.

But despite all of our difference in opinions, most of us, if not all, share certain hopes for the future of Japan. We want our young men and women to embrace the ideals of those young maidens who have the type of personality they can relate to and be motivated by.

We want to be a country that has strong relations with the United States. I hold dual citizenship and I have also talked with Mr. Barack Obama, the President of the United States of America, about his plans to help improve the situation in his country. It also helps that I can also speak perfect English. But that's a different story. The USA is our top ally, and we want to help improve global security through our special partnership.

We take pride in investing in many concerns in the world. We possess 13.7% of the world's private financial assets, the 2nd largest in the world, at an estimated $14.6 trillion and as of 2013, 62 of the Fortune Global 500 companies are based here in Japan.

We remain one of the top economies worldwide and as Saimoe Prime Minister, I expect that it will remain that way. We are the world's 3rd largest automobile manufacturing country, we have the largest electronics goods industry, and we are often ranked among the world's most innovative countries leading several measures of global patent filings. The best high-tech and precision goods, such as optical instruments, Hybrid vehicles, and robotics, are found here in this country.

Our country will not be burdened by debt, weakened by inequality, or threatened by a warming planet, so long as I am in charge. I want this country to leave its legacy as a safe country that believes in peace, self-defense and not initiating conflicts but preventing them through our Self-Defense Forces.

And I want us to be a country that lives on with confidence beyond war, and use the ideals of peace and hope to provide freedom and dignity for those in world that are disadvantage. I am here to reach out to everyone and listen to the concerns of you, because I believe that compassion and tolerance are just a couple of fundamental parts in modern-day Japanese society.

I want to reach out to the young, struggling otaku who may have a dakimakura of me, who needs a well-paying job, and wants to be a salaryman. I want to reach out to the young girl in Okinawa who wants a life beyond the islands and find a family and a future in whatever calling she answers to. I want to help young people move forward with their lives and be the best citizens they can be. That's my mission, that's my calling.

Now, as you all know too well, some people will disagree to the point of being on the edge about how the road will be paved, how to get to the promised land. For more than a decade, progress comes in spurts and short hops. It's never a straight line or a smooth path; it's a rocky road filled with curves.

That said, the fact that we have common hopes and dreams won't end the debate as to which girl is more moe or who is a more deserving leader to help solve Japan's problems, as well as build consensus and compromise to move this Saimoecracy forward. However, the common bonds of hope and love is the foundation. Our economy has rebounded, the wars are ending. We're on the up and the world is getting better. Of course, Homura-chan is responsible for a good deal of this, but that's a different story.

But as I want to reiterate, even if you voted for a different magical girl or a different Saimoe character, or voted for the old guard of the previous session, for example, I have listened and learned from you and you've helped me become the Saimoe Prime Minister I am today. Through your stories and struggles, our party returns to the Saimoe Prime Minister office more determined, more inspired and more serious about the work that we need to do and the future that awaits us all.

Tonight you voted for hope and love, not tanoshii and futuristic players. You elected us to focus on your issues and not ours. So in the coming weeks and months, I look forward to reaching out to many people, including International Saimoe League Champion Ruri Gokou, to meet the challenges we can only solve as one. We have an Olympics coming up in a few months, followed by a World Cup. I expect our country to do well at those two events. And when my term is over, I look forward to helping make the Tokyo 2020 Summer Olympics a success. The organizing committee for those games has my full support and blessings.

As for you, your work is not over. The role of voters in our Saimoecracy does not end with your vote tonight. Japan, as you must understand, has never been about what can be done for us but what can be done for us together through the promotion of many interests, including pop culture, anime and manga. That's the greatest gift to the world concerning this country: anime and manga.

We are one of the wealthiest nations in the world, but it's not the wealth that make us rich. We have one of the strongest self-defense forces in the world, but that's not what makes us strong. Our many universities—Toudai, Waseda, Keio, Kyoto, Tokyo Tech, Tohoku, Kyushu, Nagoya, Hokkaido and Tsukuba, among others—are world-class in their own right but they are not what keeps the world full of knowledge and skills.

What makes Japan amazing and its culture. Popular culture, that is Japanese popular culture not only reflects the attitudes and concerns of the present but also provides a link to the past. Japanese cinema, cuisine, television programs, anime, manga, and music all developed from older artistic and literary traditions, and many of their themes and styles of presentation can be traced to traditional art forms. This is what makes Japan the greatest nation on earth. Our pop culture is celebrated in all corners of the world through conventions and cosplay, through sales of anime Blu-Ray discs, figurines, plushies, posters, manga volumes, doujinshi and other clothes and sundries.

The power of cuteness and moe, combined with a spirit of hope and love, is what has made me confident about the future of Japan. I've seen it at work. I've seen it around the world. You just can't dislike this nation and its people. I've talked with people in the anime industry about new trends and new ways to help develop it further and help it move forward. I've seen it in people in America at conventions like Anime Expo and Otakon and Comic-Con International where cosplaying is celebrated. I've seen Japanese pop culture celebrated in Europe and Africa and Latin America, where I would check in and see the latest trends in popularity. I would listen to the debates on which famous anime girls are better and which girls have some work to do to earn the fans' trust. I've seen it. I've seen it all.

And I witnessed, before my eyes not too long ago, the story of how I was given my second chance at living the life I now love. As I floated in to purify Homura-chan's soul gem, she grabbed my hand, took my power and liberated me from the grasp of the Incubators.

I realized, days later, that she what she did wasn't wrong, but it was something that would allow me to come back to my family and friends and value the time I spend with them. The importance of life and looking out for oneself was something that I learned to appreciate.

I know that every Japanese citizen wants to have a bright future and a sense of optimism when they head into the real world. That's what we're all about. That's the country I'm so excited and honored to lead as your Saimoe Prime Minister.

And tonight, despite everything we've been through, through all the suffering and frustration we've had over the past several months, I've never been more hopeful about the future of Japan.

I've never been more hopeful about Japan and the world, and as the Goddess of Hope, I ask you to sustain it, and keep hope and love alive in your hearts and each other. This isn't blind optimism, which ignores the massiveness of the tasks ahead or those roadblocks that we have to put up with. And this isn't about idealism that allows us to sulk in our own soul gems of despair and pretend that everything is okay. No, that's not the hope I'm talking about.

As I have realized, hope is actually that special something that tells us that despite what all the naysayers may say, despite all the detractors that come crashing down on our doorstep, keep reaching, keep working, keep fighting and turn it into confidence and positive motivation.

Japan, I believe we can build on the progress that the Puella Magi Party under Mami Tomoe made and continue to fight for better jobs, better opportunities and better anime and manga for everyone to throw money at. I believe we can keep this promise that you should not forget, that someone is fighting for you and as long as you remember her, you are not alone. It doesn't matter whether you're Japanese or gaijin; whether you're straight, gay or lesbian; whether you're male or female; whether you're rich or poor; whether you're pro-Puella Magi or anti-Puella Magi; you can make it here in Japan if you're willing to ante up.

I believe we can take advantage of the future together because we are not as divided as people may say we are. We're not cynical as critics say we are. We are the country that brought anime to the forefront, manga to the forefront and moe to the forefront. This is Japan, the pride of Asia.

And together, with your help and the grace of myself and Homura-chan, we will continue this journey forward and remind the world and the universe why we are still, forever and always, the greatest nation on the face of the planet Earth.

Thank you Japan. We send our blessings on this country and the world. Take care of yourselves and be good to yourselves. I love you all. You Are Not Alone!"

-Madoka Kaname
2013 2channel Anime Saimoe Tournament Champion
National Olympic Stadium, Tokyo, Japan

November 23, 2013

2channel Anime Saimoe 2013: Championship Match Results

1位 277票 鹿目まどか@劇場版 魔法少女まどか☆マギカ
2位 191票 美樹さやか@劇場版 魔法少女まどか☆マギカ