Bike Trip

I love riding my bike. I hop on my year-old Trek 3500, with its red-an-black color scheme, and pedal off wherever I want to go. My bike has gone as far north as Pasadena, and as far south as San Clemente. But it never ceases to be my main weapon of exercise, as well as my free-spirited mode of transportation. Ever since I heard of Lance Armstrong, and his Trek bicycles, I always wanted to purchase a Trek. I loved the red-and-black scheme at the time I purchased the 3500 (I was a LBCC student at the time, so it figures!). But I go wherever my heart takes me.

My legs don’t like having to pedal over hills, but sometimes I have to, and I copy Lance’s style of pedaling with quicker strokes, before I crack near the top and ride my bike a few paces so my legs can recuperate from the effort. Then as I go downhill, the wind refreshes me and my legs, and my legs spin the chain effortlessly as the blood comes back to refuel and prepare. I also don’t like headwinds much, because it slows my ride down. But I have to ride through them.

And there are so many people riding bikes this time of year! Even old farts are climbing up hills and going down hills. Must be a summer thing.

On my trip, I passed by Marina Pacifica, and read some magazines at Barnes & Noble, before sipping a Jamba Juice smoothie that had all these different vitamin boosts. I think I had about seven of them in my smoothie. This would be enough fuel for me to ride home on my bike. But first, it was time for a bit of memory lane.

I soaked in the summer ocean breeze as I biked by the beach and watch voluptuous girls fawn by in their scanty bikinis. I even passed by one that was riding a bike, and had her hair laid down in braids. I didn’t know if she was married or not, but if she wasn’t, I’d want her to be my wife! After sauntering down the beach on my 3500, I passed by Shoreline Village. I walked my bike down the shops, and even passed by a merry-go-round. And this was no ordinary merry-go-round. I remembered when I was a little boy, and my mom was riding me on one of the horses. I didn’t want to fall off and hurt my head. I feared for my safety, and my health. I still do today, although merry-go-round horses don’t scare me at all.

In this world, there are a lot of worse things to worry about. The biggest worry I have to deal with is whether or not it is my time to leave this Earth. I want to live to about 80, maybe even 90. But if it is my time to leave, I will embrace it. You see, one who fears dying fears living. So you gotta live every day like it’s your last.

I rode to the top of this lighthouse next to the Aquarium. It kinda looked like a miniature, grassy version of Mont Ventoux. Lance Armstrong once said that “Ventoux is a very special climb which gives me very special feelings.” He conquered Ventoux, but was never able to win a stage there. He even gave a win to a cyclist who would pay the price with cocaine. So I pedaled as fast as I could to the top of the lighthouse, and I parked my bike and sat on one of the benches to reflect.

I could see Shoreline, the Queen Mary ship, and the Carnival Cruise ship. I had a dream one time in which I was taking Passport C to the Queen Mary. I realized that not only was the Carnival Cruise ship there, but the Queen Mary’s younger sister, the Queen Mary 2, was in its place. I thought, “Oh man, I died and gone to heaven!” And there was a shopping mall, there, too. Maybe that will happen in the future.

Also, I could see a couple of restaurants next to the Queen Mary. There was Naga’s Restaurant, which was this restaurant that me and my fraternity boys got kicked out of because I started a fight against this bastard I know, Jeremy, who shortchanged me out of my misery by giving me no awards. I couldn’t even speak because my throat felt like it was removed and fed to goony birds. So I punched and smacked him in the face, and it could have been worse. Heck, I could have thrown that douchebag out the window for all I cared. He was the fraternity’s president that time, and he was doing a pathetic job at it. Actually, in spite of our success, the fraternity, Tong, was in a funk after Fall 2002. There were so many slackers that wanted to join, and the alumni (including me, of course) wanted none of that. I have a gut feeling that it won’t taste its glory days again unless it wakes up and brings in competent male blood.

I could also see the Reef restaurant, which was the last place where we had our fraternity’s banquet. Great occasion, there, though by that time I was tired to being a frat boy, and that was the time I committed to Alpha Gamma Sigma.

As I watched the boats whiz by the harbor, I reflected on my plan for having a family. In order to have a family and enjoy the pleasures of sex with style, I made my set of rules. This is in chronological order. And I think if a couple follows all these rules, they will be well off.

Be financially sound. Gotta have a lot of bucks, and a six-figure disposition to support. Having your spouse to be in the same position makes it even more better.
Get tested. If you or your partner have a disease or even HIV, then the relationship will have to be that of swingers, and not of a married couple with children. A lot of people in relationships don’t do this, and they pay for it with their lives.
Discuss whether it would be the right time to have children. Are the two of you ready to have kids and pass on your legacy, and raise them to be the best citizens they can be?
Get married. I had an icebreaker when I was with the ASB Cabinet at LBCC in which I had to say one interesting thing, and when I told the group that I had a niece born out of wedlock, the whole place erupted with laughter and sympathy. Even some of the old ASB Cabinet members heard about this. (Wagner Wong, this has nothing to do with you, okay, so back off and don’t worry about it.)
Spend a night out before making love. Go somewhere good and safe, like a restaurant, the movies, nightclubs (well, scratch that, unless you want to take a chance in Adultery City), shopping. And, oh, do this at night for best results.
Think of having sex as not just something you have to do, but something you want to do. You live to be with your loved one and take part in the foreplay and kinkiness et al that follows, so enjoy it, and clean yourself up after you’re done.
Take part in a parenting class. It will help you prepare for the inevitable. And it’s invaluable.
Women, never smoke, drink, or do drugs when you are pregnant. If you do this, I loathe and pity you and the future of your child. And men soon to be fathers, embrace your children, teach them to be great citizens of the free world, and never treat them like pieces of meat, lest they end up becoming Michael Jackson clones. One King of Flop is surely enough, amirite?

After reflecting on family, I set off homeward. It’s amazing. I mean, I’m now 21, and I can go wherever I want to. I can smoke, I can drink, I can gamble. But I want to pace myself. I don’t want to smoke or drink, though I want to have fun with the slot machines. I’ve got classes to take, scholarships to obtain, games to watch, and a whole life ahead of me.

Oh yeah, and I have my bike to ride on.