So…who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, anyway?

It ain’t me, of course. The Big Bad Wolf I am referring to is UCSB men’s water polo coach Wolf Wigo. He thought he could come to our house, and huff, and puff, and blow it down. And the UCSB fans thought the same way. Fools! We bent, but didn’t break, and Gavin Arroyo’s guys took it to ‘em, 9-8.

Bring out the lime, Beach Nation, on November 11^th…a whitewash may be in order. I’m not scared of wolves…I’m a 49er, inshallah. I hunt wolves! I may have to pantomime a shotgun and pretend to point it at the Big Bad Wolf next meeting, if he complains that I am ruining his concentration. There are bigger things to worry about than suffering another heartbreaker. I leave it to you to figure it out, Gaucho[ke]s.

Now, we aren’t done yet with those punks from Goleta. Our women’s volleyball team isn’t feeling too happy after getting an assraping of the worst kind from the Mustangs of Cal Poly. But if they can’t successfully take their anger out on UC Santa Barbara down at the Thunderdome tonight, I won’t be done chewing Brian Gimmillaro up and spitting him out for his Central Coast futility, either, God forbid it happens.

EDIT: It didn't. The Beach swept 'em, 3-0. Our job's done here for today.

Regis Philbin! You said that “It’s time to stop the bleeding.” Well, when the Jews crucified Jesus (yes, it was the Jews, via the Romans, Caiaphas, the chief priests and those bloody Pharisees, the scumbags, not our sins, that crucified Jesus), they didn’t stop the bleeding. Why should it stop for Charlie Weis’s Fighting Irish football team? Michigan State took it to them, 31-14.

Next time, Mr. Philbin, two words: SHUT UP.

Now here is a brewing storyline that even the Wyrd sisters from Macbeth couldn’t have concocted even if they gave 1000% on it: the Seattle Mariners winning the rest of their games, while the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim lose the rest of their games.

In Seattle, they can call it “The Mariner Miracle.” In Anaheim, we should call it “The Curse of Jorge Campillo.” Seattle won, 3-2. One is still the “magic number.”

Haruhi Suzumiya, send help.