It’s great to see the underdog triumph, because it proves that on any given day, a top team can be felled, and it reinforces that timeless adage: You have to play the game. So I have see some top teams fall from their perch on September 29, 2007. West Virginia lost to South Florida, 21-13. Oklahoma was edged by a Colorado field goal, 27-24. Auburn also booted a field goal to drain Florida’s swamp, 20-17. Texas was given a Kansas State-style lynching, 41-21. Rutgers was routed by Maryland, 34-24. Clemson got shacked by Georgia Tech, 13-3. Illinois outlasted Penn State, 27-20. And Florida State squeaked by Alabama, 21-14.
However, calling this Saturday “Insanity Saturday” is just Pat Forde’s shyster way of stretching the impact of this weekend’s results to make it look like the end of the world. It’s not being fair to the top teams who are still alive, specifically the top two teams. USC and LSU are still on track to be in the show. The Trojans defeated Washington, 27-24. The Tigers, after a shaky start, defeated Tulane, 34-9. Cal and Ohio State are still in the running, too. The Golden Bears dismissed Oregon, 31-24, while Ohio State continued on its merry way, 30-7. Wisconsin, Boston College, and Kentucky also survived, so they are the latest contenders. And the only difference between the interceptions that Hawaii and Idaho made was that the Warriors were able to convert them into points (48-20 Hawaii).
Keep in mind that App State was not involved, either. The Mountaineers, after being upset themselves by Wofford, got back to business, dismissing Elon, 49-32.
Meanwhile, the USA gutted themselves of any hope to salvage 3rd place, starting Brianna “The Hag” Scurry against Norway. I predict that the Norwegians got this one in the bag. The world will have ended if the USA wins this one. The world will be saved if the USA finishes 4th, and Greg “I am Hope Solo’s worst enemy, and will be lynched for my faggotry” Ryan is sacked.
In other news, my Anaheim Ducks are feeling London Burning right now. Hey Randy Carlyle, call 99999 already! Punk. On the other side of the world, the Angels continue their warm-ups, felling the Athletics, 3-2. In Canada, the President’s Cup is all but going to go to the Yanks, as they are 7-up on the rest of the world.
And the Cubans will be crushed tomorrow in Valdivia, Chile. You may have our number in baseball, Fidel Castro, but these soon-to-be defectors are due to roll over and die come Sunday Bloody Sunday. It’s their duty.
St. Jimmy and Jesus of Suburbia, send help. And bring some Novocain with you while you’re rolling down this boulevard of broken dreams, bruised egos, and American idiots. This is a request from the Bedlam.
