A fake press release...

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
18 September 2005
The “White House”

To whom this may concern,

The “White House” and our leader, Jo-Ryan Salazar, received a message from one of the executive board members of the International Fraternity of Delta Sigma Pi, Lambda Phi Chapter that a letter regarding whether or not Jo-Ryan Salazar has been invited to be a provisional member of the chapter will be distributed at the ABSOC office on 19 September 2005, at 2:00 p.m. PST. The 40-member staff of the “White House” is excited about this news, and is anticipating the outcome of this letter with wondrous anticipation.

Should the letter be that of an invitation, an official press conference will take place at the “White House” press room at approximately 6:00 p.m. PST. Jo-Ryan is expected, upon receiving this invitation, to formally accept it, as well as state his goals for the Alpha Nu pledge class, which is where Jo-Ryan will be grouped with this semester. Also, Jo-Ryan will be present at the first event of this process, which will be 4:00 p.m. PST, Friday, 23 September, at a location to be determined, albeit it will be on campus.

Should the letter be that of a rejection, an official press conference will take place at the “White House” press room, at the same time as that of an invitation. Jo-Ryan will then announce his next steps after this rejection has been affirmed. As this is the worst-case scenario, the “White House” team will schedule a 30-minute meeting following the press conference to evaluate other options for Jo-Ryan.

While we will not expect the chapter’s letter to be that of an invitation or that of a rejection, we are confident that the chapter will make or has made a decision that will place the future of this esteemed organization in the best direction possible.


Jay R. Boogimon
Press Secretary
The “White House”

Looking for changes

Time for something quite serious. Yeah, I know, for most of the time it’s been upbeat, but it’s time for a change.

Yesterday, I felt quite down. I don’t know if it was the caffeine withdrawal or something, but I was overwhelmed by the many opportunities I have on campus to get involved. I wanted to get involved with Delta Sigma Pi, and as I met all these different people from various walks of life, I felt like I was the odd man out. I didn’t know anyone who graduated from LBCC that wanted to major in Info Systems that was a member of DSP. That was what really caused the cold, harsh reality to sink in: I don’t know anyone at Long Beach State, save a few, but they’re already accomplished in what they will do, and the mindset was that I had to start over again.

I realized I left behind a college that was left in shambles, at least student life-wise. The student government basically collapsed in a way, and the trends of people not being involved in the student life programs at City continued to diminish. The ASB President resigned, the Administration has ruined the role of students having a voice in how choices are made, and the future of LBCC’s students seems to be bleak in a way, unless something drastic changes. I actually broke down after realizing this.

I was told by my old friend Ashley that I shouldn’t worry about this dilemma. But let’s face it: how can’t you worry about a community college that you’ve been involved in for 3 years, and realize the direction it is headed is that of a regular, run-of-the-mill high school? I sometimes get scared that the Student Life programs of Long Beach City College will no longer exist. Instead, it will just become another glorified high school, run by baby boomers that do not care one bit about the integrity and solidarity of their students.

I wonder if I will be able to get past this first semester at the Beach. With an unfavorable schedule, and some loose ends to tie, plus JCFN, and Delta Sigma Pi, I think I’ll want to take this semester one day at a time. Or something like that.

It’s like I’m a freshman all over again.

Saturday: Mission

Yesterday was fun. Before I went to the game between LBCC and Moorpark, I went over to eat with my mom over at Genghis Khan. I piled on the meat, the pineapple, the mushrooms, carrots, peppers, cabbage, and to my surprise, I got the wrong plate when it came to me, and some other customer, this African-American lady, comes over and switches it with the one I ordered. And then she tells the folks I want a new plate. There go a few dollars worth of food wasted, and maybe a few jobs lost due to poor service. I finished the meal with my sinuses cleared, my eyes watery, and my mouth burning with chili.

Afterwards, it was time for the game. I went onto the field, and talked with a lot of people, I discussed the season with the Cheer Team, I reunited with Dr. Kehoe and Dr. Fylpaa, as well as Larry Reisbig, and I took photos of the teams practicing. I also met my friend Chris Ruiz, who is LBCC’s sports information director, and he gave me a few passes: one for the game, and one for the season. I would return to the press box later for a halftime snack.

I met some very cordial people from Moorpark College. The guys there acknowledged that the Vikings had some players with good speed. LBCC’s team’s depth will be key for them throughout the season. I kept this in mind as I wrote notes, interviewed the coaches, and then wrote my report, with some statistical and photogenical assistance from Chris.

Later that night (I had drank a few too much Diet Cokes that game), I saw this hilarious photo that said “M-F- stole my sammich.” I laughed like crazy after seeing it, I don’t know why. But after I saw a comment post that said “Sage Failure,” I said, “FIRST DOWN!” After a bit of some sensible flooding, I finally became a first-teamer on The Onion Bag.

And so ended my night, although now I gotta sleep in and try to do some accounting homework. Typed. Clean. Less use of mess and more use of fingers. I guess I gotta give my props to Habitat for Humanity not giving me a slot today: they gave me more time to do the thing I like: The Internet.