In a season like no other, it's been a day like no other: The first as the reigning champions of England. The reigning champions of England.
How's it been for you? Here's our composite version of an extraordinary day in the life of a Leicester City fan.
Wake up, late, with half a crisp cob stuck to the side of your face.
Wonder why you went to bed draped in a small kimono. You don't even own a kimono.
Struggle through a moment or two of Paul Merson-levels of thick-headed confusion.
Realise it's not a kimono, but a flag.
Hang on ... A flag you bought outside the ground late last night. The one that says Champions.
See daylight, like an express train racing from a tunnel. It happened. It actually happened.
Reach for your phone. Tweet: "So, it wasn't a dream #lcfc".
Scroll through hundreds of other tweets saying "so, it wasn't a dream #lcfc".
Sit up. Slump down again, knocked back by the sweetest hangover you will ever endure.
Get up and have breakfast. A fry-up, for both celebration and necessity.
Have
a shower. Idly wonder, while stripping, if the Miracle of Leicester
might also have worked its magic on your body, making you thinner/more
muscley/bigger-breasted/hung-like-a-porn-star-whale ...
... Oh well.
Turn
on breakfast TV. Watch a breathless report that features the words
"fairytale" and "5000-1" plus an interview with a dishevelled,
wild-haired passer-by, conducted to a symphony of car horns.
Switch over. Watch the exact same thing, with the same words, but in a slightly different order.
Switch
over again. Ditto, but with Piers Morgan. Find, to your lasting
surprise, that for once he doesn't make you want to punch a cushion.
Open
the gallery on your phone. Find several chaotic videos of pogoing feet
in the pub, and a photo of you hugging a grinning stranger who looks
like he might have chased you through the Haymarket when you were both
14.
Flick through your call log. Recall with a small
burst of shame that you rang several London numbers at midnight, asking
to be put though to Chas and/or Dave.
Open Twitter.
Favourite every tweet made by a Leicester City player in the last 24
hours. Retweet a random oaf who'd predicted at the start of the season
that we'd be relegated. Watch a compilation video of Claudio Ranieri's
press conferences. Have a little sob.
Walk through the
city, glowing like the Ready Brek kids, but with pride. Use your
advanced chugger-avoiding skills, honed on countless dinner breaks in
the city, to dodge roving packs of TV reporters who want to know if
anyone can quite believe it.
Think: "I don't believe it".
Think:
"I wonder if I've thought 'I don't believe it' more times in the last
12 hours than Richard Wilson has ever said it in his lifetime?'"
Think: "I may still be a bit drunk."
Roll
up late to work, braced for middle-managerial peevishness. Find
everyone is beaming like drunken chimps. Even the office misery. Notice
your boss, who supported Manchester United earlier this season, has a
Leicester City scarf draped over their computer. Sense you are immune.
Make tea, and a small shrine to Claudio Ranieri and Richard III.
Swap war stories from last night with your workmates.
Spend a full 25 minutes humming "we're all going on a European tour".
Answer the phone with the greeting "dilly ding, dilly dong?" Repeatedly.
Have
a pointless work meeting. Don't listen to a single word, as you are
otherwise engaged deciding precisely where Eden Hazard's equaliser would
rank in the list of Leicester City's all-time greatest goals.
Go back to your desk. Google '+car +horn +knackered +repair +Leicester'.
Feel
a fleeting urge to go on the Forest forum, but shrug it off. Realise
for the first time ever, they mean as little to you as they insist we do
to them.
Read this, even though you've read it before. Have a Ranieri-style trembly lip.
Be
gripped by a fear you're going to wake up and find yourself in the
double decker at Filbert Street, after nodding off during a dreary David
Pleat-era goalless draw, having dreamed the entire last quarter of a
century of Leicester's history.
Stare
out of the window. Think of Vardy's volley against Liverpool. Of
Schmeichel playing like a man possessed at Old Trafford. Of Mahrez
dumping three Villa players on the ground with a single, dazzling turn.
Of Okazaki's overhead kick against Newcastle. Of Huth's ballistic header
against Spurs. Of Ulloa's last-gasp equaliser against West Ham. Of
Kante's Mini. Of the Union FS tifos. Of the free booze from the owners.
Of Ranieri's trembly lower lip...
A few hundred privileged City fans glimpsed their heroes drop into an Italian restaurant for a slap-up meal this afternoon.
The 2016 Premier League champions made time for a visit to San Carlo in Granby Street, in the city centre shortly after 1.30pm.
A coach dropped off the players outside the restaurant and into a throng of delirious and chanting supporters.
They were whisked inside and the windows blocked out to afford them some privacy.
Rumours that something special was on the cards began to circulate around 1pm when a small team of police officers arrived in the street.
The crowd swelled to the hundreds as more and more people cottoned on.
David May, 64, was one of the first to arrive – complete with a City flag.
Mr May, whose company May's Electrical has a long association with the Foxes, said: "I'd booked at San Carlo for today but they rang me and apologised that they would have to cancel because there was a special party coming in.
"I put two and two together and came down from Knighton to see if I was right – and I was.
"I've been waiting all my life for this, it's been an amazing season.
"I went to the Man United game at the weekend and, although we didn't win it there, it was amazing.
"The United fans applauded City of the pitch.
"I watched the Spurs v Chelsea game in the pub and people were saying at 2-0 that we were going to have to wait for the next game, but I always believed it would finish 2-2 and that we'd be champions.
"The whole thing is crazy. We've had some successes over the years and some trips to Wembley, but this is on another plane."
Sally Frazer, of Market Bosworth, chanced on the impromptu street party as she and her family walked through the city centre.
She said: "We walked into town from the King Power Stadium – where the atmosphere was amazing.
"We saw people standing around outside the restaurant and wondered what was going on.
"Someone said they'd heard that the players were coming for a meal, so we had to stay to find out if it was true – and it was.
"The atmosphere is wonderful, everyone is so happy.
"What the team have achieved is a one-off and we won't see anything like it again."
Construction worker Jay Harbin, 44, of Ashby, was also one of the first people at the happy scene.
He said: "We saw a police car pull up and made a joke about them getting a ticket if they parked there.
"It was our break so we came out and there must have 10 or so people waiting around.
"Then it just grew and grew as the word went around that the players were going to be coming. It was brilliant."
Is this just an illusion That I made inside my head to get me by? 20 years in debt 20 years in the government 20 years can never get me by
Then I feel you close Feel you close like you wanted me to Feel you close like you wanted me to Believe in you
Rise to the top of the world, America America, don't you cry Lift me up Give me strength to press on Rise to the top of the world, America America, don't you cry Lift me up Give me strength to press on
From farmers in the fields To the tallest of the towers that fall and rise 1-7-7-6 The names upon the list For all the ones that gave until they died Don't you hold back I can see in your mind, and your mind will set you free
And I feel you close Feel you close like you wanted me to Feel you close like you wanted me to Believe in you
Rise to the top of the world, America America, don't you cry Lift me up Give me strength to press on Rise to the top of the world, America America, don't you cry Lift me up Give me strength to press on
Rise to the top of the world, America America, don't you cry Lift me up Give me strength to press on Rise to the top of the world, America America, don't you cry Lift me up Give me strength to press on!
Am I out of touch? Am I out of my place? When I keep saying that I'm looking for an empty space Oh, I'm wishing you're here But I'm wishing you're gone I can't have you and I'm only gonna do you wrong
Oh, I'm going to mess this up Oh, this is just my luck Over and over and over again
I'm sorry for everything Oh, everything I've done From the second that I was born it seems I had a loaded gun And then I shot, shot, shot a hole through everything I loved Oh, I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that I loved
Am I out of luck? Am I waiting to break? When I keep saying that I'm looking for a way to escape Oh, I'm wishing I had what I'd taken for granted I can't help you when I'm only gonna do you wrong
Oh, I'm going to mess this up Oh, this is just my luck Over and over and over again
I'm sorry for everything Oh, everything I've done From the second that I was born it seems I had a loaded gun And then I shot, shot, shot a hole through everything I loved Oh, I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that I loved
In the meantime can we let it go At the roadside that We used to know We can let this drift away Oh, we let this drift away At the bay side Where you used to show In the moonlight Where we let it go We can let this drift away Oh, we let this drift away
And there's always time to change your mind Oh, there's always time to change your mind Oh, love, can you hear me? Oh, let it drift away
I'm sorry for everything Oh, everything I've done From the second that I was born it seems I had a loaded gun And then I shot, shot, shot a hole through everything I loved Oh, I shot, shot, shot a hole through every single thing that I loved
In the meantime can we let it go At the roadside that We used to know We can let this drift away Oh, we let this drift away At the bay side Where you used to show In the moonlight Where we let it go We can let this drift away Oh, we let this drift away
And there's always time to change your mind Oh, there's always time to change your mind Oh, love, can you hear me? Oh, let it drift away...