The Orb of Fate.

At Long Beach City College, there's this trophy that consists of a crystal orb on a pedestal. This trophy represents our position as the best junior college athletic program in the state of California. We finished 20.5 points ahead of Mt. San Antonio College, buoyed by state titles in men's water polo, baseball, men's volleyball, and women's soccer, where we also won a national title. By the way, that team is the preseason No. 1 in the JC Division III (non-scholarship) by the NSCAA


One time, I looked into the orb, the "Orb of Fate" as I like to call it, and said, "Oh Orb of Fate, what does the future hold this year for Long Beach City College athletics this year?" and it only said, "Noble J.R., alumnus of the Viking class of 2005, this year, the Orb of Fate sees potential. More titles, more honors. Perhaps a reprise of last year's landmark achievements is not out of the question, oh Wizard of Westside! That is all." And I said, "How do you know all this?" It only replied, "I don't know man, I didn't do it."


You know, if winning these Orbs of Fate become a chronic, annual, nasty [sic] habit, we may need a bigger trophy room in the college's Hall of Champions.