Lord Voldemort, send help!

It's times like these where I would love to be in Lord Voldemort's shoes. You know who Lord Voldemort is, right? The guy who does that "Avara Kadavra" spell? Yes, you know who.

Boy, I would love to use that spell on my men's basketball team. It's one thing to rip up an opponent in a game that I couldn't see because the calendar stiffed me. It's another thing to make that win a flat-out lie against Cal State Bakersfield, a team that is not even through its first provisional year of four.

Way to deceive me, you bastards. Not ever Dr. F. King Alexander, not even a fan telling me "it was a good game," not even the sympathetic bus driver taking me home, giving out a "Go Beach" cheer as I left, could console me from the inescapable fact: our men's basketball team, for all the losses it has accumulated, has hit ROCK BOTTOM.

At least that's what I told Doug Krikorian of the Long BEach PRess-Telegram after the game, or rather asked. "Hey Doug, is it fair to say...that we've hit rock-bottom tonight?"
He just shrugged his shoulders, as if to say, "The way we've played, I don't think we've seen the worst of this team just yet." And I have a meeting with my old friend Elie at 10:00 a.m. at the Academic Advising Center. And I will be in a somber mood, pending the effect of my pills.

Dispute it all you want, people who read my blog, but the reality is this: if our economy is in a recession (admit, you GOP bastards on the hill; you admitted preventing a two-thirds override of a veto of an important bill at least once today!), our men's hoops team is going through a DEPRESSION.

The next victory we have (if we even have the guts to WIN a game; give up your scholarships if that's gonna be your mentality, to NOT win a game), I may not be able to see it. That's gonna be on the road, this Saturday against Northridge. God knows if our guys are even going to be motivated to even do anything right the rest of the year.

That said, the warlock formerly know as Tom Marvolo Riddle, I could use a little help here...

"As you wish."