The wheels fell off

When I found out that Paul Carroll returned tonight in the lineup for Pepperdine against us. I thought one thing.

Shit.

The wheels fell off. That ruined an otherwise subtle day with the men's basketball team defeating Davis, and me getting the official word from Enrollment Services.

Curse you Press-Telegram for giving me the wrong information. You told me that we won the the match, only to find the exact opposite. Nice going, guys.

NOT an insurmountable margin...right?

As I took Passport D leading back to Transit Mall, I thought, "Six points is not an insurmountable margin." But if our other teams do not pull their weight, it might as well be.

I could see it coming from as far as Mars. After those two games at the Walter Pyramid involving our basketball teams, UC Irvine got some well-deserved leverage, and now we are six points behind the Anteaters in the race for the Black and Blue Rivalry Series surfboard, 15-9. And the Great Hoopspression of 2008 continued.

But, you know what really got me irked, to put it quite frankly? A couple of stupid UCI hooligans for students were standing in our section. Section 111 in the Pyramid is the student section, and these guys were trespassing on our side our the Myd.

So, I went over, and told them, "Hey, what are you doing in our section?"
"We're just enjoying the game here."
"No. You are not allowed to be here. Get out of our section, right now."
"But we're just enjoying the game here."
"I said, get the fuck out of our section. NOW!"
"No, we're just enjoying the-"
"Take this, you UCI motherfucker!"
And all hell broke loose.

Now, let's make it clear here. I was being rather nice to one of these turds, by giving a gentle shove. It could have, and should have, been a sharp kick to the ribs and gut. To the cheers of the Monson Maniacs, I told Dustin Watten, one of the Masters of Le Sexy Volleyball, "These sons of bitches are SOOOOOO going down. And you WILL do it. Understand?"
He, Dan Alexander, Dean Bittner, and the other Masters present at the men's game gave an emphatic, "Yeeeeah!"

After the game, I told my good friend, Cindy Masner, one-time interim athletic director for the Beach and a great advocate for the department, about the unfortunate situation. I also criticized the fact that the Event Staff did not approach these guys, and escort them out, thus avoiding this situation altogether. Finally, I let Cindy know that "...this will be the LAST time you give me that warning, because I have your word that you will prevent such things like this from happening again. You understand?"
She nodded, I thanked her for her cooperation, and I took off. But at the same time, I wondered the possibilities in the other B&B matches.

At least the rugby, ice hockey (I just found out a few minutes ago on LMU's site) and women's water polo teams won today. But Mary Hegarty and Dan "The Taekwondo Man" Monson (that is the new epithet I give him, for his accuracy in kicking the billboard in frustration, and his garb. Hiyaaa!"), bless their hearts, they must have felt like Katrina blew by their houses. More so for poor Mary, God forgive her transgressions.

Such is the politics of sport. And thus, my intention to explore the politics, the red tape, the yin and yang, if you will, in the Sport Management program, GRE and process willing.

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That is the last time, I try to stomp a drink can before tossing it into the Recycle Bin. In an unexpected demonstration of physics (and an inability of my left foot to get all that can), my Rockstar Zero Carb can (contents already downed..oh, by the way, it has been ages since I chugged one of those bad boys down. No really. It has.) flew out of the seat and onto the floor. The Event Staff thought I threw it into the floor. Make a note of that, Jo-Ryan, to just drop the can, unstomped, into the bin.
"Roger. 10/4. Thank you."

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Also at the women's game, a young girl, came up to me, and poked me a bit. I wanted to give her a high five, and to my surprise, she didn't know how to do it. (Either that, or she is making a really serious case to become a Zot when she grows up.) I told the parents, "You are going to have to tell your kid to have some respect." If I have to power to give a tall broad a sharp kick to the gut, unfortunately for the little girl, I can send her flying like a soccer ball several feet with a simple swing of my right leg.

I kid you not.

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And I just found that the Great Hoopspression of 2008 was not restricted to Long Beach State. If the Sisters of Mercy would polish the 49er ladies off the floor, against Long Beach City College, it should be declared a Holy Day of Demolition. And the Viking men's aren't spared damage either. As if losing to John Featherstone's Noble Men of Murdock wasn't bad enough, both Vikings hoops teams lose to the El Camino Warriors.

Ouch.

.........medic!!!!!!!

Speak of Josh Ooogaboogakingon, that was a terrible way to get violated. So much for the New Deal. 91-75, the Dumbos from Pachyturd City come trampling down on us. I learned a few things.

When it comes to playing our game:

Our team won't even stand a chance a chance against Long Beach City College. Or the Breakers. Of even the isters of Mercy. When it comes to doing the nasty, I am the Master of my Myd. And when it comes to making an explicit comparison, Blogger tanks for cutting some of my text. Bastard, the lot of them.


Oh god, please, please, PLEASE, for the love of Barack O'bamama Shabooboo, let it be different against the scum. Or else, when it comes to my precious surfboard, in the words of Weezer...

Oh no,
it go,
it gone,
bye bye.
Do I?...
I think,
I sink,
AND I DIE!!!

..................................................................................................................................................
..................................................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................................medic.

EDIT: This just in...the women lost too. In the words of Nozomu Itoshiki...

"I'm in despair! The fact that there is no one on any of our teams other than Donovan Morris playing close-to-decent basketball, making as look as if they are a couple bunches of ragtag rec team rejects who haven't played a single game in their fucking lives has left me in despair!"

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Well, it looks like Dan Monson is going to finally clean house now. I mean, the season is already a bust, and we are going through a depression. Might as well pull out a page from Franklin Delano Roosevelt's playbook and bring out the first New Deal while you're at it, Coach.

For both these guys, it was an opportunity taken away. I don't know the details, but I reckon that when you start up a fight and badmouth the coach after you get humiliated by Bakersfield (man, that loss REALLY hurted), you gotta be gracious in defeat.

I say, though, go one step further: take all the players off scholarship and have them walk-on. Make them earn their scholarship back. Otherwise, they can always transfer if they feel like they don't want to take the initiative.

---
49ers depleted, defeated at NorthridgeCSUN romps; LBSU's Gant, Porter have been dismissed. By Frank Burlison, Staff writerArticle Launched: 01/26/2008 11:21:23 PM PST
NORTHRIDGE - A basketball team with an extremely narrow "margin for error" was repeatedly pushed over that margin Saturday evening.
The Long Beach State 49ers needed to limit their turnovers and keep the host Cal State Northridge Matadors out of their transition offense but they came up well short in each endeavor and were handled, 100-61, in a Big West Conference game in front of 1,471.
A deep, quick and fast CSUN squad improved its conference-leading record to 6-0 and overall mark to 14-4, while a Long Beach squad thinner in the depth department after the dismissal of junior Artis Gant and redshirt freshman Darnell Porter, and lacking in the quickness and speed categories, dropped to 1-5 and 4-14 respectively.
Coach Dan Monson's decision to dismiss Gant and Porter (who were averaging 7.4 points apiece) wasn't made public until LBSU sports information director Steve Janisch distributed a one-paragraph release approximately an hour before the game's 4 o'clock tipoff Saturday.
Afterward, Monson refused to disclose many specifics about the dismissals, other than to say that the players were informed of their dismissals on Thursday - the day after the team dropped an 80-77 decision to Cal State Bakersfield in the Walter Pyramid - and to acknowledge that the decisions were made independent of one another.
"They were dismissed for attitudes detrimental to the team," he said, echoing the reasoning in the release. "I will say that they are good kids and I hope they stay in school (spring semester classes begin Monday) and make the most of it and get an education. Their scholarships will be good (honored) until the end of the (school) year."
Even before Monson dismissed Gant and Porter - who, despite Gant missing eight games with a knee injury, had combined to start 15 games - he knew coach Bobby Braswell's team, because of its ability to pressure opponents, defensively, and score in spurts in transition and via a multitude of quality jump shooters, was going to present a litany of issues for the 49ers.
But after the first television timeout, with 15:07 to go in the first half, and despite five Long Beach turnovers, the Matadors held a 3-1 lead.
"We have athletic limitations and we were playing a team that wanted to get the pace going (fast)," Monson said. "During the (first) timeout, I told our guys, 'This is great!"'
And when Brice Gallow, a walk-on junior who scored a career-best 17 points, hit a 3-pointer from the left wing the 49ers were still within six points (at 22-16) of the hosts with 8:44 to go in the first half.
But the Matadors, who ultimately got double-figure scoring from five players - led by former Cabrillo High and Long Beach City College standout Deon Tresvant with 19 off the bench - outscored the visitors 25-10 the rest of the half.
Donovan Morris scored 13 of his game-high 25 points for the 49ers after the intermission when only the final margin was in doubt.

frank.burlison@presstelegram.com
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And another thing: Shame on you, Artis Gant. You could have been a senior leader next season, had you not shown your lack of charisma, your lack of composure. You wasted a good opportunity to lead this team. I put a damnatio memoriae on what you did after the game.
You not only disappointed your team, and Coach Monson, but you disappointed me. For shame.

Lord Voldemort, send help!

It's times like these where I would love to be in Lord Voldemort's shoes. You know who Lord Voldemort is, right? The guy who does that "Avara Kadavra" spell? Yes, you know who.

Boy, I would love to use that spell on my men's basketball team. It's one thing to rip up an opponent in a game that I couldn't see because the calendar stiffed me. It's another thing to make that win a flat-out lie against Cal State Bakersfield, a team that is not even through its first provisional year of four.

Way to deceive me, you bastards. Not ever Dr. F. King Alexander, not even a fan telling me "it was a good game," not even the sympathetic bus driver taking me home, giving out a "Go Beach" cheer as I left, could console me from the inescapable fact: our men's basketball team, for all the losses it has accumulated, has hit ROCK BOTTOM.

At least that's what I told Doug Krikorian of the Long BEach PRess-Telegram after the game, or rather asked. "Hey Doug, is it fair to say...that we've hit rock-bottom tonight?"
He just shrugged his shoulders, as if to say, "The way we've played, I don't think we've seen the worst of this team just yet." And I have a meeting with my old friend Elie at 10:00 a.m. at the Academic Advising Center. And I will be in a somber mood, pending the effect of my pills.

Dispute it all you want, people who read my blog, but the reality is this: if our economy is in a recession (admit, you GOP bastards on the hill; you admitted preventing a two-thirds override of a veto of an important bill at least once today!), our men's hoops team is going through a DEPRESSION.

The next victory we have (if we even have the guts to WIN a game; give up your scholarships if that's gonna be your mentality, to NOT win a game), I may not be able to see it. That's gonna be on the road, this Saturday against Northridge. God knows if our guys are even going to be motivated to even do anything right the rest of the year.

That said, the warlock formerly know as Tom Marvolo Riddle, I could use a little help here...

"As you wish."

UC Davis men's basketball sux...

Not for the fact that they didn't bother to show up against our guys, but for the fact that I didn't get to see them NOT show up (due to the people who make the schedule changing the time to 4:00 p.m. instead of originally planned 7:00). Get your sorry asses back to Division II where you rightfully belong, you have no business playing in our league. And by the way, your men's water polo team owe us one.

Do it. Do it naoughw. You fucking cunts.

The Iowa caucus

As I got on Mark Andrews's van heading out of the Thunderdome after watching Long Beach State put up a valiant fight against the preseason favorite UC Santa Barbara Gauchos, I knew that Barack Obama won the Iowa caucus on the Democratic side. What I didn't expect was a humble Arkansas guy by the name of Mike Huckabee supplant Mitt Romney for the Republican victory. Now Romney spent millions of dollars on winning Iowa. This is the first state to decide who they want, followed by New Hampshire, and then the rest of the other states. My state's primary isn't until the fifth of February, and already we are getting a feeling of who might win end up getting the nomination.

There are some also-rans that didn't stand a chance at this caucus, as Andrews talks about his father, an accomplished tennis player, and one-time shoulder-rubber with Andre Agassi, on the ride home from Goleta. I am wondering why Rudy Giuliani is running this race. At his age, he should be done with politics. And why is Bill Richardson trying to get the nomination. Now, granted, Hilary Clinton is not out of the race, because the other states have her ahead, but is Obama racks up state after state after state, then all the chips will fall. Same for Mike Huckabee. He only spent just over a million dollars on Iowa, and look what happened.

Yes sirree, the 2008 race is in full swing. But I can't wait to see if Long Beach State's Canadian sweep in Florida was a fluke or not when they try to snap a losing streak to a resurging USC side.