At my Stats class today, I made a joke about converting statistical data into Ebonic speak when analyzing something. The instructor, who is African-American said, "You know, you're trying to be funny, but you aren't." I thought, "Well EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME for putting the ASS in CLASS, but that's just the way I am, chief." And while I went into Diplomat Mode after class, I stil thought, "And you know, that's not the worst epithet I can lay on you, either. At least be happy the bloody N-word wasn't decked out in a nod to the KKK being reformed as a result of the election a couple weeks ago, and that I am doing my role in making this class fun like you are. You ungrateful instructor."
He was even gargling a bit while talking about the 5-Step Hypothesis Test. For a few fleeting seconds, I thought, "My god, is Screamin' Jay Hawkins teaching the course? Did he somehow get back from the dead? Damn you, Henry!" Henry is Jay's little butt-smoking skull friend on a stick. Something like that.
As I left for the 111, I was like Kyou Fujibayashi post-Tomoya Okazaki Bitchslap of Horror: "Sheeesh, why do professors who gargle like Screamin' Jay Hawkins show a lack of gratitude? Are they taught to be that way since childhood? If so, may the Devil Incarnate save them."
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Speaking of elections, what took the damn pricks from CNN so fucking long to call Missouri to McCain. I mean, it's TWO WEEKS after the fact, and just today...they called it.
God help whoever was working the map, or compiling the exit polls down there at the Election Center. They call Missouri a bellweather state...I beg to differ; Missouri got its bell rung today. Guess they showed them, huh?
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And aside from my little chastising moment a few hours ago, I am actually in a good mood overall. The Socceroos and the USA men's national team (unlike the U-17 girls against Kim Jong Il's young Arirang Mass Games gymnasts-in-training) actually won. Australia's 1-0 win against Bahrain was funny. It looked like the goal winner by Marco Bresciano was a Steven Bradbury-esque goal. The seas party like the Men's 1,000 meters in short track at Salt Lake 2002, and the most unlikely of heroes takes advantage of the unexpected opportunity.
Ironically, Mark cycled a cracker against this same Bahraini side two years ago in Sydney. One thing's for sure: Bresciano is a hated man in Manama now. He may have as well ruined their hopes of even coming close to the fifth-place match.
As for the guys, it was just plain cleaning up in a 2-0 win over Guatemala., So they enter the Hexagonal with Mexico (I mean, come on, a CONCACAF Hexagonal would not be a CONCACAF Hexagonal without the USA and Mexico in it...it just wouldn't be the same without both of them qualifying), Costa Rica, El Salvador, Honduras, and Trinidad and Tobago (who dealt Bob Bradley's guys the only loss in the third round).
One has to feel for Jamaica, though. In spite of a 3-0 blasting of Canada, they are set to be in a state of lux (and their manager is destined to be sacked like a gift in Santa's gunny) after Mexico failed to do their share of the dirty work in a 1-0 defeat (with two red cards; ugh!) against Los Catrachos. Poor Reggae Boyz..now they will get the epithet of "Reggae Toyz" for four more years.
It's a cruel game, football is. But that's what makes it fun to watch.
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Once agaim, I said it again...good riddance Ted Stevens. Thanks to Mark Begich unseating the old geezer, we Now all that needs to happen in Norm Coleman and Saxby Chambliss to fall in their races in Minnesota and Georgia, respectively. They will be luckier than Steven Bradbury if they do get re-elected, the GOP rubes.
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