“Summer hasn’t arrived yet.”

While I was savoring the news of my compadre and colleague, Mark Andrews, winning the ASI Presidential Runoff Election, I saw someone sunbathe. A moe complexion to go with a rather plain yellow T-shirt bra top and a blue denim string bottom. After 10 minutes, she put her clothes back on, and said to her friends, “It’s not hot enough,” and then left.

Looks like summer hasn’t arrived yet. Well, that’s because it’s early Spring, and April hasn’t even arrived yet! And that’s why many people head to the Caribbean, Cabo San Lucas, or somewhere along those lines, maybe even Ibiza, for Spring Break! Obvious, ojousama, obvious!

Speaking of which, something happened at last year’s Spring Break in Aruba. A young girl named Natalee Holloway disappeared on the island. She must have been turned into some type of saint. I assume she was a moekko worth fapping to, but I haven’t seen her in person. Therefore, I advise you, to whoever is bent for a week of love, sex, drinks, and more sex, please be safe, and don’t disappear or do anything beyond the ordinary, lest you become one of my personal Saints of Spring Break.

And congratulations to Mark Andrews. You are the man, and don’t you know it!