USA 2-1 Uruguay: Own goal, and then a brawl afterwards. What mo, er, less could you ask for?

Midweek Mayhem Minutes from the Midwest couldn't have come any sooner.

Just when things couldn’t get any worse for the USA, Uruguay take a page of the playbooks of the ultras of Nueva Chicago and Tigres, and starts up a postgame brawl…in Toronto, Canada! Toronto, Canada, peoples! If there was a wrong place to start up a melee between young men (bring out my One Piece pirates, Naruto ninjas, and robot army for reinforcements!), it was here.

Baghdad, Iraq, should have been a place to do it. Send out some streakers were suicide bomb jackets to shut them up. But they never came to Toronto, and I don’t think they ever should, so to keep their youthful, troubled, weeaboo-free sanities intact.

The melee on the pitch tainted a 2-1 USA victory, thanks to the heroics of one Michael Bradley, and you wonder if the Ultimate Fighting leagues of the world were watching intently. Maybe some of these closet hooligans can make money off of this, albeit in a more proper setting.

Spirited group fight, wrong place to do it by far. End of post.