Oh no, not you again!

In the words of Homer Simpson, "Ohhh! It just keeps getting worse and worse."

You know, I have seen futility and ineptness of all shapes and sizes, but would you ever have thought that three straight match sweeps at the hands of the same team would happen tonight, and take the cake in terms of defining the epitome of fail? Didn't think so? Then neither did anybody donning the Black and Gold at the Bren Events Center last night. Out of all the supporters there, I was surprisingly calm.

Somehow, I knew at the back of my head that I would hate to be anyone on the team if we were unable to figure these guys out. I did not think that my mind would be turning to baseball, softball, and track in a hurry. And I just had a gut feeling that it would be a Pepperdine-Penn State final. Perhaps the only Beach supporters who grimly knew the inevitable.

Actually, what got me really riled up was the guys from Staff Pro and the NCAA officials patrolling the aisles. Must be a very lonely job, and a very difficult one, to manage these sorts of things, but you gotta give them credit for taking these types of verbal abuse. That and my fellow supporters not getting loud to the end. I had to cheer Ryan KObane up. Ryan is the editor-in-chief of the Union Weekly.

This Long BEach State men's volleyball team is going to have to hide under a huge rock, and follow it up with some soul-searching in the long offseason. I don't think even Penn State, those beasts from the East, are going to stand a chance against Paul Carroll and company. The only way that Pepperdine can be stopped si that it meets the same fate that Lewis was dealt with in 2003 and Hawaii in 2002. Not something I wish for, but then again, Cal State Fullerton fans (those turds; your softball team will be dinner this weekend) had their schadenfruede episode when Larry Reynolds and Reggie Howard (those conniving bastards) made all my work two seasons ago look like it was in vain.

As I took the bus home, I passed by a banner that said, "Wilson Girls Soccer, 2007 National Champions. We Made History." Tonight, our guys made history. For all the wrong reasons.

On the premise of four nervous cities, a festival of hits, and other happenings

This will be a long blog entry. One which I am stunned to post. Read below for all the details.

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My ass!

Today was the day of Kaleidoscope 2008. This is a tradition at Long Beach State. The very first time I went here was over a decade ago, when I was a seventh grader at Stephens Middle School, playing with the Pandrummonium Steel Drum Band/Ensemble. I was one of the original members of that band, by the way. But everything looked the same: banners flying, bands playing, the usual suspects setting up shop (USU Program Council, SLD, Associated Students, etc.). One booth that I stopped by was this booth for CRUNK, an energy drink pioneered by Atlanta's very own Lil' Jon. His son is an avid hockey player. (I won't go into much detail on the hockey-the Habs lost-but I may delve deeper on the original version [the FIELD version] next entry). I tried the sugar-free version. It was a run-of-the-mill, ice cold medicine-type of drink. I probably wouldn't want to buy something like that, although I was glad to investigate about the brew, which featured, among ingredients in its "proprietary" formula horny goat weed (YES, it does exist). Actually, I felt sorry for those guys in the booth. I'm not too much a fan of Lil JOn, but to market a drink that literally SUCKS has to be a humbling experience.

That was before I witnessed some history in the making. Brooke Turner, the younger sister of Michelle Turner, set a new record for strikeouts in a single season, sitting down 11, and relegating Meredith Cervenka's old record to second place, in a 2-1 victory over UC Riverside, who were very feisty to begin with. We took the series after Bridgette Pagano drove in a 2-run homer over the left field wall to make it 4-3 in the second game. If these ladies don't get a regional berth, let alone bid (Mayfair Park A Go Go), the NCAA can kiss my ass. I'll even send the Eiken Club to boob-slap the selection committee into submission, fate willing.

Meanwhile, back at Blair Field, another ridiculous festival of short balls, long balls, and foul balls caught (and dropped) by salty old farts who still have it culminated in Kurt "Wide Load" Wideman dropping the ball, enabling "Sugar" Shane "The Pain" Peterson to drive in the winning run in a 14-13 victory for the Beach. Yes, football has returned to the Beach. Football scores, that is. The chicks were digging the long ball, the alums were scooping the foul balls, and I scolded a bloody idiot of a booster for failing to give a high five to me. Sit with the Tigers if you would like to be that way. I'm not obliged to even fake a smile to those cellar-dwelling punks. Actually, I thumbed my noses at a few other Tiger supporters who were clearly fairweather to the core. That's why we have seats behind home plate, so you can make up your bloody minds, you indecisive wanks.

Overall I did 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10+11+12+13+14=107 push-ups for the men soon to be in a box. As well as the others. Well, I guess CRUNK had its benefits. Somewhat.

While most of the local teams were rolling (Beach Tennis will face of against the Zots tomorrow for the crown after taking out the Gauchos 4-0), I knew that women's water polo was going to be the goats of the day. I was surprised that I was actually RIGHT. The swiss cheese porn girls from Northridge edged us, 8-7. This year has gone to hell for Cat von Schwarz, and she knows it.

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This leads me to my premise of four nervous cities.

COLUMBUS, OH and UNIVERSITY PARK, PA should be nervous, in spite of winning their respective tournaments. Pepperdine stunned BYU in five. While both of them swept Ball State and George Mason (respectively), Shawn Patchell's men had a letdown to be damned for all time: after going up 2-0 in 30-28 wins, the Waves proceeded to win Game 3 32-30, Game 4 30-27, and complete the rally 15-8. The question for these cities is this: who gets the Waves, and who gets the at-large team? I'll give you this: the team who DOES NOT get Pepperdine should be considered lucky. Somewhat.

LONG BEACH, CA and PROVO, UT should also be nervous. Both teams shared the regular season title, yet both of them fell to Pepperdine. Uh oh. The question for these cities is this: who gets to be the at-large team, and who will they face? The Cougars have more wins, and advanced farther, but the 49ers defeated the Cougars in both meetings at Wally's House.

I would see the situation to be this:

Penn State vs. Pepperdine

Ohio State vs. Long Beach State

If even Mark Pavlik's boys can't solve the Amazing Australian Alien, a.k.a. Paul Carroll, then this tournament will turn on its head in a hurry.

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Meanwhile, down at the Home Depot Center, the Galaxy were back to their winning ways, taking down Chivas USA 5-2. A brace from Alan Gordon and a hat trick from Landon Donovan sealed the Goats' fates. Also, Toronto FC continued their climb, and Chelsea fought back to set the deciding week to be next week in the Barclays Premier League down in England. And the Lakers...well, it was just the same old stuff driven down Denver's throats.

Also, in about a few hours from now, the USA women's field hockey team faces Belgium in a game that will determine Lee Bodimeade's fate. Well, it HAS to, with a berth in Beijing on the line. More on that next entry.

The wheels fell off

When I found out that Paul Carroll returned tonight in the lineup for Pepperdine against us. I thought one thing.

Shit.

The wheels fell off. That ruined an otherwise subtle day with the men's basketball team defeating Davis, and me getting the official word from Enrollment Services.

Curse you Press-Telegram for giving me the wrong information. You told me that we won the the match, only to find the exact opposite. Nice going, guys.